Read and vote on more contest entries!

Agony


108 votes, average: 2.22 out of 5108 votes, average: 2.22 out of 5108 votes, average: 2.22 out of 5108 votes, average: 2.22 out of 5108 votes, average: 2.22 out of 5 (108 votes, average: 2.22 out of 5)
Thanks for your vote!

Voting on this contest has closed. Thanks to all who voted!

Share on Facebook

by ShinLoo

For the first time, I was looking at myself from this angle. It was different from looking at myself in the mirror. For one thing, I had my eyes closed. And I was lying on the street beside a Cadillac, unconscious. It just felt so weird looking at myself so lifeless. Then it suddenly struck me – I was hit by a car.
I’m probably dead.
A young passer-by knelt beside me to check my pulse. He turned around to face the stunned driver and whispered something. And I knew I was dead.
Isn’t there supposed to be a stream of gentle white light or something?
I laughed at my own thought, only to be surprised by how calm I felt. Did it not bother me, that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy life, to eat my favourite food, to play my favourite video games? Did it not bother me, that I wouldn’t be able to meet the people I care for, that all I could do was watch them suffer from accepting my death?
Zach…
A name that once meant so much to me suddenly popped up. It didn’t matter anymore. Our relationship was on the rocks anyway. There was nothing I could have done to have the old times back. Nothing I could have done to make him love me. He would be glad, if not thankful, over my death. I suddenly remember it was Valentine’s Day.
I died on our wedding anniversary.


The irony of it made me laugh again.
******    ******
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw her in the mortuary. I shook her. I yelled at her. I slapped her. She didn’t respond. They had to pull me away from her. I had to fight real hard.
Sam is just sleeping. I have to protect her from all these people.
I knew it was just an excuse I gave myself to let it all out – to scream at people, to punch their faces – just so that I wouldn’t go totally insane.
They said it was an accident. I couldn’t accept it. Why would God do this to me? Why would God take away the only thing that matters in my life? And why of all days, today? Today when I made a promise to myself I was going to make it up to her. For all that I had done and hadn’t done all these years.
I knew she didn’t like it when I had to work overtime. I knew we hadn’t talked much these days. I knew she had been crying in the night. I knew she hadn’t been happy for a long time. I knew she was angry at me. But I kept thinking, next week – next week I would make it all up to her.
Why did I always have to wait till next week?
As I lay down in bed, I remembered a promise I made to her a long time ago. “I will never leave you,” I said. I suddenly realized I hadn’t cried a single tear since I knew about the accident.
I can’t live without her.
I got out of bed and went to the study. I pulled open the drawer of my desk and found a revolver. When I first bought it she told me to get rid of it. She didn’t like the idea of having a weapon in the house. I put it on top of my desk. I had never used it before.
I can’t live without her.
I looked out the window. She used to stand beside the window looking at the kids running around the playground, while I worked on my laptop. “I want to have kids,” she said. “We will, baby,” I always replied. But we never did.
I can’t live without her.
I touched the revolver. I shuddered. I just missed her so much.

Happy Valentine, Sam. And happy anniversary.

Post Comment

* How the voting works: To vote, click on the star that represents the number of "stars" you want to give the entry -- i.e. clicking on the far left star gives a "one-star" rating, the far right star a "five-star" rating.You can vote on each entry only one time. Your vote will be counted once, and the stars you give will be averaged in with all the star votes for that entry.