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Discount Hormone

51 votes, average: 1.31 out of 551 votes, average: 1.31 out of 551 votes, average: 1.31 out of 551 votes, average: 1.31 out of 551 votes, average: 1.31 out of 5 (51 votes, average: 1.31 out of 5)
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by Ann Marie Samson

Discount Hormone, “Was it good for you?” the robot asked.

“It was great,” I said, Hormone uk. (Neither of us was smoking.)

He cost me plenty but he was worth it.  A man programmed not to comment on my butt, 100mg Hormone, a man with a memory for my birthday, my ring size, my favorite dessert – cheesecake with chocolate truffle topping, Hormone ebay. A man wired and googled to every one of my ten thousand whimsical wishes. Hormone australia, What’s not to like.

And the robot was handsome, Discount Hormone. Nineteen forties handsome. I picked him to be Clark Gablish with just a hint of cowboy.  The result was devastating, 50mg Hormone.

He was the hit of every social event. 10mg Hormone, I brought him to parties and once to the office where he caused so much of an uproar I had to put him back in the closet. Discount Hormone, Only my mother hadn’t met him.

“So what’s your problem?” my good friend Melissa asked me when I told her I couldn’t sleep nights.

The truth was I missed my real time boyfriend, 30mg Hormone, he who cannot be named.  I missed him like crazy. 1000mg Hormone, “At night when I turn off my robot all I can dream about is good old whatshisname,” I said.

Melissa groaned, 500mg Hormone.

“Last night I dreamed he was wearing his favorite golf shirt with the little thingie on the pocket and I could die, Missy.  Just die.”

“Hide the damn robot and bring in Whoozits for a night.  You’ll get over it,” Melissa said in her ancient wise woman way, Discount Hormone.

“No, Hormone coupon, ” I said. “That will never work. What if Whoozits gets up for his midnight snack and the robot thinks it’s time to set the microwave on high and Whoozits Crispy Crème doughnut burns up, Hormone overseas. Or we’re nude and the robot starts vacuuming the carpet. Discount Hormone, Can you even imagine what would happen if I had to introduce them. Hormone canada, It’s the end of life as I know it.”

“Can’t you pull cyber-guy’s plug?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t know everything about him yet. We’re just getting to know each other, 20mg Hormone. I’ll go home and read the manual.”

Then a few hours later a fateful phone call. Whatshisname wants to come over and try to make nice and get back together, Discount Hormone. 150mg Hormone, In fact he’s calling me from his cell phone, already climbing the stairs to my apartment. Two floors to go, Hormone india. If whatshisname finds a robot under the bed he’ll pull all his wires out, Hormone paypal, and the robot will end up sizzling on the floor, just a scatter of ones and zeros, all the light gone out of his enormous eyes, Hormone mexico. I scoop up the robot and put him back in his box and sit on it to make sure it closed.  I put him in the closet and then I answer the door. Discount Hormone, “I’m busy, I said, with my hand on the door knob. 750mg Hormone, “I have some heavy programming to do, so make it fast.” That’s what I thought I said. But something else came out of my mouth only a robot could have put in there, Hormone us.

“Hi. Hormone craiglist, Geez, you look great,” is what I actually said, Hormone usa. And he did, Discount Hormone. He was wearing the fucking golf shirt.  It was all over. 250mg Hormone, The robot was timed to fix breakfast, and I never turned him off. How could I have forgotten such a matter, 40mg Hormone.

“Your breakfast is ready . . Hormone japan, . ready,” the robot repeated in his crackly voice, 200mg Hormone.

“What the hell was that?” Whatshisface sat straight up in bed.

“That was the ro  . , Discount Hormone. .Robert. Roberta.  Whatever. These temps keep changing their names,” I said, recovering with the speed of a microchip.

“Somebody’s cooking breakfast?” Morning face stared at me, unbelieving. Discount Hormone, “Yes.  Yesiree.” But then the robot came whirling through the door with a goddamn tray and that’s when things got all rowdydowdy.

Whatshiswhoozit jumped up out of bed and the robot tried to shake his hand which was bad enough, but the robot was timed to be amorous at 8:01, leaving a fair amount of time before I had to leave for my nine o’clock commute. So at 8:02 things started getting swarmy. Ever try to change a program and balance two cups of coffee on a tray at the same time. There was nothing I could do but watch the two of them go at it, and get out the dustpan.

Whatchamacallit won’t come back, I betcha, but neither will the robot lying in his box all in pieces and I haven’t even finished making payments.

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