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17 Comments
a wonderful attempt on the theme desire, they way you narrated, the way you ended made to say Aww. great one. wishing this to win this contest. love, bala.
Wow, this is super dude. I loved the desire.
Awesome narration..
Liked the way it goes on with the feelings…
Hope to read more….Good
Wow, emotions and the ending was awesome. I wish this to win this contest.
Really A Great Thing You Done And Great Narrating
You Really Shown Something New To her That Which She Didn’t Find In Her 50 Years
Great Job
Have A Nice Day…
Really a wonderful job done by you. awesome ending dude.
This one is awesome. Wish you good luck
Good one!
u r quite inventive,
beautiful set up.
cool story lines.
i dunno abt the ppl who have commented whether they were on drugs when they read dis fable…
the writer has really lampooned grammar and sentence structuring…
nothin innovative in terms of idea..its almost same as Moondram Pirai..the only difference here is the leading character kills the woman which is expected from the writer’s perspective so as to create a saddistic smoke…
Pls stop writing ………………….
Good …! Feels like looking a film while reading your story.
All the best.
This is truly good story.. I love it..
While reading the comments, I read a stupid comment from Mr.A, Well you are killing the language English by cut shorting the words. ‘abt’ for about, ‘dis’ for this and many.. In this writeup I found two grammatical mistakes, rest are fine. I think you should learn English first. Coming to Movie, Moondram Pirai is Sridevi(is a patient) and Kamal, so you don’t know about Movies too. Mr. – don’t be proud of yourself. If you are fellow participants then try to respect others.
This is a wonderful writeup.. Write more.. We love you……
Amazing write..
The ending is fantastic…
I loved it SiS… What peace it must have got her…
i loved it…
A sad subject. You illustrate the downside of humanity well, SIS. A well-wrought story.
Look forward to more …
Jamie
Good story. This author shows real talent. I encourage writer to take creative writing classes to clean up his style. Too many perspectives for short story. Also dialogue should be set off more. Few other minor things.
he ordered her and shut the door closed./redundant==thinking of the pain that her body bear every time./fractured grammar.==“Is this a gift stupid,” I frowned as I came here only because of his compulsion./no question mark and the sentence is incomprehensible==She noticed me sitting on the bed so came near to me and requested,/who came near to me?==I am a retired editor, but I cannot continue to critique this gramatically inept piece. I feel sorry for what the protaganist had to endure, but this is unreadable. Get some competent editorial help on this.
Whoever sent me the e-mail link to this ill-written story; I hope you are reading this, because not only do I wonder how you got my e-mail address, but I request that you do not contact me again. I’m absolutely surprised that so many people would vote favorably for a story written so sloppily.