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No RX Abilify, by Joyce J. Townsend


A man rounded a corner and plowed smack into me, knocking me off my feet.  He did a classic double take; then helped me up, Abilify australia, exclaiming, 10mg Abilify, “Oh, migod, lady, 20mg Abilify, are you okay?  I didn’t evenseeyou!”  I said I was fine. Abilify paypal,  As he barreled off again, I heard him muttering, “I didn’t even see her.”

I lied: I wasn’t fine.  Everything was sore, 250mg Abilify, especially my self-esteem, Abilify usa, which took the biggest hit.  Here it was, proof of what I’d been suspecting.

I fought my fears, Abilify craiglist, I really did.  I told myself I was being unreasonable, 1000mg Abilify, right up until the moment the stranger said he hadn’t seen me.  After that, I accepted the evidence: I had indeed become invisible.

This was most disturbing.  Positive feedback from people, Abilify uk, especially males, Abilify japan, always elevated my spirits.  Ever since adolescence—maybe ever since birth!—the way the opposite sex reacted to me and my girlfriends influenced the way we saw ourselves.

Fast-forward the years when we grew up, embraced college and/or career and significant others.  By that time, I came to realize I’d soon be bald if I kept plucking every stray gray from my brunette hair, so I had it colored every four or five weeks.  To save money, I started coloring at home until the day my best friend took me aside.  “I hate to say this but your hair has that hokey orange sheen.”

I stopped coloring.  It took ages for all trace of orange, magenta, blue, yellow and vermillion to grow out, and for my hair to evolve into a natural mixture that I could ignore if I didn’t look in the mirror too often, No RX Abilify.

Friends told me I was still an eye-magnet, but I started experiencing indifference from the men I knew.  I told myself that growing older meant no longer being entitled to the amount of attention I used to get, Abilify coupon, but this wasn’t about less—this was about none, Abilify ebay, period.

I turned mildly depressed which, no doubt, Abilify canada, contributed to my disappearance, 30mg Abilify, although which came first is the old chicken/egg dilemma.  Was I receding because men no longer saw me, or did they no longer see me because I was receding?   Still, I thought I was managing fairly well until the day I got knocked down by the man who admitted he didn’t even see me, 40mg Abilify. After that, Abilify overseas, I could be described as severely depressed.

I didn’t perk up until an old friend I hadn’t seen in years invited me for a visit.  Picking me up at the airport, we hugged, Abilify us, and then she pulled back for a better look.

“We’re going to do something about that No RX Abilify, ,” she said, and we got it together: scissors, dryer, combs, sprays, curling iron—and a box with a glamorous model pictured on front, seductively rippling her brunette hair. 50mg Abilify,

Homeward bound, in the snaking security check-in line at the airport, I was overcome, 750mg Abilify, as if eyes were drilling into the nape of my neck.  When I turned to see who was looking at me, 200mg Abilify, I froze.  Men werelooking at me.  Without even asking, the man behind me hoisted my suitcase onto the table, and the man behind him handed over a plastic bin.  I had totally forgotten about my dye-job until I caught sight of a woman about my age without one, 500mg Abilify, hoisting her own suitcase.  Then I remembered and walked taller, 100mg Abilify, with a slight pelvic sway.  After all, I had an image to uphold.

On board, Abilify india, I smiled at the flight attendant moving down the aisle with the goody cart.  He smiled back and dropped four bags of peanuts into my lap and waved away the money I extended to pay for my drink. 150mg Abilify,

My friend called the other day reminding me it was time, but I’m not convinced I want to “refresh the color”.  The plus side, when hair coloring wasn’t on my to-do list, Abilify mexico, was how free of all that I felt.

Also, I am ambivalence about how I look.  Sometime I wink at the chick in the mirror, but other times I miss my comfortable invisible self.  Truth to tell, I’m becoming less dependent on how others see me or don’t.  What is important is that I see me, present and accounted for.

I have another week or two, before refreshing the color becomes critical.  I might put it off altogether, or maybe wait to color it until I see my friend again.

I guess it all depends.

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1 Comment

  1. September 28, 2009

    I thought this was really great! Great topic, great writing, great job!

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