By Paige Walton

The old adage may be true: men…you can’t live with ‘em…you can’t live without ‘em. It seems easy enough to understand the logic behind that timeless statement, for men have selective hearing and they usually squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle. They are the biggest babies in the world when they are sick and they truly don’t like to ask for directions. Peel back the layers though, and many times the core is solid and trustworthy and as I learned this past year, the very essence of what all men should strive to be: faithful.

Josh was only twenty-six when he and wife sat in the doctor’s office trying to sort through the hand they’d just been dealt. Thoughts raced through his mind like a locomotive, the noise deafening. Statements like “double-bubble”, “intestinal blockage”, “immediate surgery upon delivery”, and “confirmed tests” were not the words he’d been prepared to hear. His first child had been perfect: ten fingers, ten toes, his mother’s blonde hair, and eyes like the deepest of oceans. His perfect son was not on his mind right then and Josh was terrified.

They’d come to the appointment simply to see if their new little bundle of joy would prefer pink or blue. What they found out hit them with the force of a Mack truck: their baby girl might not survive. She must undergo intestinal surgery upon delivery to clear the multiple obstructions in her tiny tract. She’d most likely be premature. The severity of her problems would be unknown until birth. There was no doubt that their lives were to change dramatically as this child was a Downs Syndrome child.

Most men would react in a similar way as Josh: Why me? Why would God do this to us? What if she doesn’t make it? Do we keep the baby knowing all of the risks? How can we not? Can we afford a lifetime of care? What do we do?

Josh has lived his entire life not knowing his own father.

“He was a machinist, drove a Camero, had a motorcycle, had red hair…I don’t even know his correct last name. But his first is Keith.”

He jokes about his absent father, but not often. He’s always said that his only goal was to raise his children as his own father had not. Now he was beginning to doubt; he certainly hadn’t signed up for something this serious.

Josh and his wife toiled night after night, prayed for guidance, and discussed every option available to them regarding their unborn daughter. Sleepless, frustrated, downtrodden, and to the breaking point, this man of all men, knew in his soul what he had to do.

“Faith helped me make the decision to keep her regardless of her health issues. That was the deciding factor. I looked at everything that I had been through in my life and I’d made it through them all. Those experiences made me who I am today and I believe that God will never give you more than you can handle. So with that reflection, I realized that God must think my wife and I are something special and He wanted us to raise one of His angels for Him.”

Aliviah celebrated her first birthday in March. She’s the most beautiful baby in the world: all ten fingers, all ten toes, eyes like her brother’s, an attitude like her mother’s, and she’s as close to perfect as any parent could hope for. No one cares that she has Downs Syndrome; children all over the world carry the similar genetic deformity and they are also just as perfect. But this little girl has something many do not: the greatest man in the world for a father.

So forgive the toothpaste tube; don’t despair at using the navigation system on a regular basis; repeat your directions a few times, eventually he’ll hear them; pamper him when he has the sniffles, it’s worth it.

Change the old adage and create something new: Men…smile more in their presence…learn from their experiences…and live because of them.