by Roger Dean Kiser

In everyone's life, if they are lucky, someone comes along and adds something very special to their existence. However, in my case I was so stupid and immature at that time in my life, I did not appreciate what it was that I had. Having been raised my entire childhood in a Jacksonville, Florida orphanage, and never having had a family life; once released out into the world I was a bit of a mental case. I knew nothing about the real world. My life led me to several terms in a reform school, many jails, and finally to prison for a short peroid. While traveling from place to place, I happened upon a small restaurant called Burwash Lodge. While eating, I happen upon one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. As time passed we married and had a child together. I continued to act stupid, dumb, and reckless with my irresponsible ways. Within two years the marriage ended and we parted ways. As time passed we both remarried and had children. Nevertheless, she and I remained friends and were always civil to one another. Though I am now happily married; there was something about her that continued to live deep in my heart. There was a time in my life when I felt that no one kind, loving, or beautiful could ever love or care about me as a person. I knew in my heart that it was just a matter of time before some good-looking Joe would come along, and there I would be, once again standing along the side of the road all by myself. Always being told by the orphanage matrons that I was one ugly little bastard and that I would be dead before I was twenty-one; I had no self esteem, pride or self confidence, whatsoever. I am making this video because I want to apologize to Ann for dragging her into the life of a very dysfunctional young man. However, I also want to thank her for caring about me and for changing my life. It was good to know, again, deep in my heart, that someone beautiful and smart could care about someone like me. Those feelings nurtured inside me for many years. One day, as a fifty-year-old man, I decided that it was time to stop being afraid. With only a sixth grade education and the help of my friend Edward Asner, I sat down at my computer and wrote three books on child abuse. To help other orphans in the United States, I formed The American Orphan Foundation and built The American Orphan short story web site. Was this what it was all about? Is this why I suffered so much physical, emotional and sexual abuse as a child? I guess I'll never know the answer to that question. What I do know is that Anne Conklin instilled in me a sense of kindness and a feeling of self respect. Deep seated feelings that took almost fifty years to prosper, because of a childhood in a terrible Jacksonville, Florida orphanage. I wonder how many men in the world owe so much to their ex-wife. Sometimes LOVE is more than just marriage and friendship. It is having taught someone else, along the way, to love others and respect all life itself.