by Sarah (Sensibly Sassy)

So this is going to be a hard/depressing entry. Don't read if you don't feel like "going there" with me. But I have to do this so here it goes: When I was about ten I met Sylvia. She was my dance instructor. She was everything I had hoped that growing up would bring me: She was exuberant, friendly and loved by everyone that knew her. She had the coolest clothes, a cute boyfriend and was talented beyond belief. She was the youngest in her family and took me under her wing-I was the younger sister she wanted to guide and she was the older sister I so badly wanted to be like. Even though we had a good 8 year age gap, we had so much that made us truly close, regardless of the difference in age. She would take me to the movies, shopping and give me tips to improve my dancing. But then a couple years into our friendship, the girl who had everything got cancer. It spread rapidly and within months Sylvia went from big eyes and an even bigger smile, to losing her hair and unable to keep weight on. Her illness didn't make our friendship skip a beat. I didn't flinch when she showed me her bald head although she told me she was scared of how I might react, I tried to make life as normal as I could for her even though I was only 13 and there really wasn't much I could do. I would sit in bed with her and watch tv and try on her wigs to make her laugh, I bought her girly beenies so that she would have something to wear around the house instead of her scratchy wig. My mom would have her over our house during the day while her parents worked. My mom would buy her whatever food she wanted, even the most random request of a bagel dog. Sylvia tried so hard to make life as normal as possible, she would do ballet stretches in her hospital room, but of course she would also have her weak moments. I returned from school one day and she was sitting on my couch watching Montel Williams. Montel had a psychic on and she was taking call in questions. Sylvia turned to me and said "hand me the phone I am going to call her." I just stood there and looked at her with questioning eyes and then she said "I have to ask her if I am going to die from this cancer." I told her that she wasn't going to die, and not to be silly. But when I turned around to hang up the phone I realized I had no idea. One day Sylvia came to watch me in one of my dance classes. When I saw her I stopped dancing to come sit with her. The look on her face was priceless. She asked me why on earth I wasn't dancing and I told her I wanted to sit with her. At this moment she told me something that would stick with me forever. She said "I used to be able to dance as much as I wanted, then one day it was taken away from me, now I couldn't dance if I tried my hardest. You can still do the things that I can't, don't for a second take that for granted, do the things you want to right now because you might not have another chance to do it-do the things I can't." Sylvia lost her battle with cancer on on November 25, 1998. When I found out I fell to the floor, no words, barely any air, I just slumped. At the wake, the night before her funeral I felt she was there. When I was crying and nani (my grandma) gave me tissues they were the tissues with Vicks vapor rub in them-they were meant for colds-so when I brought them to my eye they stung incredibly bad-I could see Sylvia laughing hysterically at that. Today would have been Sylvia's 31st Birthday. Her death is probably the reason for a lot of my "issues" but her life is probably a reason for a lot of my successes. I would not trade a moment with her if I had to do it again. Even the painful parts, she made even the worst of times memorable. I miss her more than you would think, after all it's almost been ten years, in fact I am pretty sure I think about her everyday. Late one night, about a month ago, I googled her name, I wanted something to connect me to her life again. But there was nothing. I had nothing left but what's in my mind. So now by writing this people will stumble upon it, accidentaly or on purpose and know she existed at one point and made a very big impact to some very lucky people.