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by Terri Rimmer

How do you know if you’re dating a scammer?

I found out in December was dating a con artist for the past two months.

Here’s some things he told me:

First he said he drove a truck for Whole Foods, then he was a meat cutter, then a district manager. But he’s home a lot. And, yes, he has some health problems and has been sick but even when he wasn’t sick he was home often. Said he couldn’t discuss anything about his job because it was “top secret.”

“Top secret? For Whole Foods? I don’t think so,” says my friend Susan, who not only shops there but knows all about retail.

Plus my sister’s girlfriend was a district manager for Dollar Tree and she was constantly on the go.

He told me he never did drugs then told me drug stories.

He said he was the best meat cutter in the biz.

He told me he was going to have to go to Austin for a week on two occasions for his job then didn’t go, that he couldn’t come to my birthday night because he had to go to Boulder for work, and that he had had kidney cancer twice.

He revealed he was in the hospital for 19 days and “died” twice from pneumonia. Turns out one of his closest friends couldn’t find out exactly what was wrong with him.

He said his mom died in 1993 or 1998 and was a surgeon. Said she was a horrible housekeeper. He also said he grew up in HI where he was an avid surfer.

He told me he got sober in 1990 but his roommate said he smoked pot sometimes and that he met his dad for the first time at his first AA meeting.

He reported he makes $79,000 a year. But he and his roommate share the vehicle. Now he does have to pay child support on two kids, one of whom I’ve met.

He said sometimes he worked till 8 p.m. and that his family “adopted” his roommate.

He added that he met some celebrities, among them Conan O’Brien and one of the actors from the “Austin Powers” movies. He also told me that one of his best friends was the Bounty Hunter (“The Dog’s”) oldest son.

He said there’s things in his past that would shock me and that he almost got arrested on Christmas Day for threatening a store clerk. That was one of the reasons he didn’t call me earlier that day.

He reported that he had a surround sound system in his house. Not true.

He said he was a co-founder of an AA group, had property in Mansfield, TX, and had been in the Navy. Oh, and he helped clean-up efforts for 9/11. It traumatized him so much he had to go into therapy.

He bragged that he used to work at the meat counter at Albertsons. A lady who worked at the pharmacy, when asked by him, “Do you remember me?” said no, she didn’t. She’s worked there for years.

He said he beat up an old friend of mine.

He said he couldn’t go out New Year’s Eve because he had to work in Denver.

In December , he decided he wanted to continue dating me but without sex.

So, I dumped him cause that’s not dating and I’m a modern woman.

What is is about some people who spin such lavish tales?

“Roger was over at the VA shelter with me. He was a guy and a half,” says Jon. “He was a crackhead basically or whatever anybody could give him.”

Then there’s Pat who says she’s going to make $3,000 each day as a manicurist but if she makes $1,500 this month it’ll be a miracle. She doesn’t work half the time.

On a woman was scammed after meeting this supposedly rich guy at a restaurant, asking him where his car was and being told “I valeted it.” The problem was there was no valet at the restaurant. On the third date he told her his house was undergoing construction and he couldn’t take her there for three days. When she told him she was doing an Internet search on him just as a safety precaution because that’s her practice, he said, “We’re done talking.”

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